While I was sitting there being pleased with myself a thought occurred to me. What if I had merely confused their actual motivations for going to church? Surely millions of people worldwide don't attend mass just to make themselves feel better? I know that they are going to church to help themselves be more "Christ-like".
That's when it hit me. Christ performed all sorts of miracles and had some pretty sweet ass mystical powers such as the ability to walk on water, change water into wine, come back from the dead and lots of other really cool things that one might consider "super". I then started imagining all the other things Jesus could do that the bible never really touched on, like pretending to have a twin brother who calls himself Super-Christ and protects the world from evil with his superpowers!
This image popped into my mind.
By having his "twin brother" go around as Super-Christ it helps to protect his peaceful image to the masses so that they won't be afraid of his all around bad-assery. I have also just decided that following this current mythos for Christ that he eventually adopts the persona of Santa Claus to help the children of the world and he adds punching poverty in the face onto his to do list for the year.
So with this newfound information I will no longer question the motives of my family or any other people who attend church regularly. I now realize the merit behind the whole church thing. Because honestly now that everyone is aware of how awesome being Christ-like is who wouldn't want to go to church in hopes of being more like him? Me? I will work on getting my super powers from staying at home eating communion wafers and getting trashed on box wine.
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